May 2010
1 post
judge me by my feet
April 2010
10 posts
Reblog with your life story in six words
masterpanda:
bunnicidal:
pulmonesdepapel:
mistursunshine:
kingaaronz:
rararoo:
yerawizardharry:
saix:
Too much wishing, not enough doing.
I love chocolate and worship Satan.
I AM AN ACTUAL FUCKING PSYCHO
I haven’t smoked nearly enough weed.
I like to poop my pants.
I have no idea any more.
Phasing in and out of life.
i am constantly on the verge
Lack of...
SCORE: Little girl: 1. Box Jellyfish: owned →
“Weekends don’t count unless you spend them doing something completely...”
– Calvin and Hobbes
“You found another way to tell the truth.”
– “Excuses” by the Morning Benders
The Lone, Mustachioed Job Hunter →
love the concept, love the subject, love the use of the word “mustachioed,” and LOVE the quote at the end.
mustachioed
I really wish I was a boy sometimes so I could be described as “mustachioed” some day when I grew an impressive mustache.
Keepin' it classy
Today I turned 18. As per tradition, my family took me out to dinner, and I chose Mimi’s cafe. Only a few tables were taken, mostly by elderly couples, but they sat us in the “kid section” because my little brother and his friend were with us (clearly they were misinformed about which birthday this was). The atmosphere was hushed - the dimly lights and soft booths seemed to...
February 2010
1 post
January 2010
4 posts
“Girls do not dress for boys. They dress for themselves, and of course, each...”
i really hate
when people, especially girls, other than my grandmother call me “honey,” “sweetie,” “dear,” or any other condescending derivative of what should be a term of endearment.
You are not pushing 80. You are not my boyfriend. You are probably younger than me. It’s not okay.
FUCK YOU. Fuck me.
Sexting. Sex fling.
Getting laid. Getting head.
Tapping that. Hitting it.
What happened to holding hands, standing outside windows with boom boxes?
New Year's Resolutions
This year has sucked, academically. I’m stressed out of my mind, and my social life isn’t great, nor is my academic life, actually.
So here are my New Year’s Resolutions:
This coming year is about success, adventure, and life.
1. Success: I will succeed this year. Even if I don’t accomplish every task, those failures will lead me to something new, something that I will...
December 2009
9 posts
Smells like success
What I lack in lips and lashes I make up for in nose.
I have a big Italian schnoz that curves slightly to the right. I can wiggle it like a bunny and sneeze with the best of them, and when I’m winning the fight with my sinuses, I could sniff out a scented needle in a haystack.
My skin may not be porcelain, but it’s got character, dammit. Shrinking my pores would be like erasing a...
I wish I could have a do-over button
to see what my life would be like at each college, who I’d turn out to be, who my friends would be, where I’d be the most successful, where I’d be the happiest.
I’ve been getting my college acceptance letters recently, and I have to make a decision soon about which school I’ll spend the next four years of my life at.
If I go to a small school, I could focus on...
What if
I’ve already met the love of my life and decided I hated him because of something random, thus killing any meant-to-be connection to him I was supposed to have?
“Be daring, be different, be impractical, be anything that will assert integrity...”
– Cecil Beaton
November 2009
1 post
Attention span
My attention span, I have realized, directly correlates to my workload.
The larger the workload, the smaller my attention span.
Which, I presume, is why I have found about 4 hours worth of interesting things to do today that do not involve homework or college apps in the least. Curse you, internet.
October 2009
28 posts
That's not what I ordered...
drew:
…Can I send it back?
That’s exactly what I wanted to say. I had about 10 really smartass things to say back. But I couldn’t. I was frozen. Speechless.
Zip back a few weeks. I had parted ways with Strands, and got the most amazing opportunity with GOGII in LA as Director of Community. Dream job.
A move to LA was imminent. But first, a trip home to Philly to visit the folks and...
They thought Mary was a virgin
When really, Mary was a whore. One day, Mary got knocked up after a random hookup with a local sheep farmer. Afraid to tell Joseph (her bf at the time), Mary made up an elaborate back story involving God and a magical “virgin pregnancy,” thus creating Christianity.
Crisis averted.
A story is like a woman's skirt:
It should be long enough to cover the business, but short enough to be interesting.
“All generalizations are false, including this one.”
– Mark Twain
Words that look like things
Today I realized that the world “bed” actually looks like a bed. MLIA
(via mylifeisaverage.com)
Post hoc, ergo propter hoc
Statistics show that as the number of churches in the United States increases, so too does the number of prostitutes.
Challenge
New Game: exit hunting.
Basic Concept: Go to any public place, preferably an outside mall (inside ones work too), and see how many places the exits in the back of the stores go.
Once You’re Pro: See how many people you can get through the exits before store attendants get suspicious.
Bonus: Running from security gets you bonus points (getting caught does not).
She sells herself for free
Sleep is a cheap whore.
She services everyone that calls on her, anywhere, anytime.
She does the job, and everyone’s always willing for more.
Sleep is a girl with no self-esteem.
All she wants is your attention, but you always find something more interesting than sleep.
She’s always waiting on you with baited breath, eagerly counting the minutes until your next visit.
Sleep is a...
Caffeine
I fell asleep in my favorite teacher’s class today…
I think he saw me. I feel like I let him down. I’m going to apologize tomorrow, but before that I think I’m going to adopt a steady diet of morning tea; less caffeine and no addiction (that I can foresee), and a whole lot less of me feeling like a jerk.
Challenge
You want something. You want something bad, but you don’t have the guts to go get it. And that makes you want it more.
That feeling in your stomach every time you think of it, like you’re being propelled forward towards it, but hook tugging behind your bellybutton roots you to the spot. You need it.
So here is my challenge: Tomorrow, go get it.
Set your jaw. Take a deep breath....
This is insane →
(via nathen)
life-starts-now:
whenrealityfails:
...
life-starts-now:
whenrealityfails:
...
See you in hell
Every major religion says that there is something after life: heaven, reincarnation, nirvana, etc. Theory: They are all wrong, and we’re already in hell.
Proof #1: Getting Dumped.
Getting dumped is like finding an expertly-placed bag of burning dog crap on your porch. Not only did you not see it coming, but when people ask why you two lovebirds aren’t together anymore, you have the...
life-starts-now:
whenrealityfails:
...
life-starts-now:
3rd Measurement in C (Acoustic) -...
Challenge
This weekend, go adventuring.
adventuring: go somewhere that you don’t know well, and exploring just for the fun of it
Suggestions
a beach city . the city next to you . pool hopping (watch out for cops..) . off-roading . anywhere you usually go in the day time…at night.
CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #260
FASHION TRENDS
Dead is the new unambiguous. Bipolar is the new undecided. Heavily armed is the new born again. Bald is the new head… and the new crotch. Hairy is the new face. Sheepishly admitting to having an STD is the new flirting. Purell is the new face of fear. Finding the time that’s right for you is the new impotence. The smiley-face emoticon is the new “sincerely...